


is it crack? is that what you smoke? you smoke crack?

by kintozier



Category: Captain America (Movies), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crack, F/M, Fun, Gay, M/M, Tags Are Hard, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 19:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kintozier/pseuds/kintozier
Summary: bucky is tired of steve kissin girls so he stans louis





	is it crack? is that what you smoke? you smoke crack?

**Author's Note:**

> eep! hewwo my fellow gaybies! i <3 yaoi :P our filthy gay sinners WILL fall in love peace uwu

Bucky was so happy, his favorite boy band Big Time Rush was going to be coming to the Avengers tower to play that one song ft. Snopp Dog. He was quacking in his boots, he couldn't wait to tell Steve. His crush. Steve claimed he was 100% hetero but he listened to Brittney Spears and went on Grindr.But whateves, so Bucky was on his way into Steve's room when a sight made him stop in his tracks! It was Steve... kissing a girl. Gross. Heterosexual Activity™. Bucky silently but dramatic ran out of the room bumping into a random nerd.

"Hey! You frickin Asshole. I almost dropped my big ego!" Tony Stank yelled at Bucky who was running and crying. "Gee, what's his problem" Tony asked but no one replied because no one likes talking to Tony. 

Back in Steve's room, Steve slowly pushed random inserted OC away from him. Her blond hair cascaded down her shoulders, blue eyes alert. "Lindsay what the fricken frack!" Steve cursed, adjusting his collar. "Steve remember you owe me, I know about your secret crush! If you dont kiss me, Ill tell him!!!!!!" Ashley cried. Its very clear the author just wrote her in, to cause conflict. She batted her long unrealistic eyelashes, her eyes flashing to green before grabbing her gucci purse. "I have to go model for prada brb!" Nicole told him. Get that coin sis!

Bucky was crying in his room scrolling twitter. He wanted to check on Big Time Rush, so he typed in best boy band in the world... But it wasn't BTR anymore. It was One Direction! "Who the h*ll is this" Bucky muttered under his breath. Then he saw the most beautifulest man.... Louis Tomlinson. Lovestrucked. Bucky tweeted at him. "@Louis_Tomlinson Gee Whiz, Ya One Hell Of A Guy..." Satisfied he exited twitter, rolling over he clasped the phone close to his chest. Sighing like a schoolgirl he sure hoped Louis would reply...

The next morning Lindsay/Ashley/Nicole stood in the Avengers kitchen. "Okay so. Bruce likes Thor. Thor likes Bruce. Time to make some conflict so they realize their feelings." Natasha sat next her and admired her. "Such a gay ally..." Natasha said, elbowing Clint. This is MCU Clint. His eyes widened. "Aw shit I left my baby in the car."

A scream came from Bucky's room. Wendy Whitewashed appeared with her XBox 360. "What is happening..." Wendy asked, with her bad accent. "System Software update." Vision whispered. Sam rushed in. "I'm here to make appearances because Marvel has a diversity quota they have to reach. So I'll go deal with Bucky."

Sam lightly knocked at Buckys door. "Hey man... you try seasoned food for the first time?" Sam questioned, opening the door as he stepped in. "No!!! Louis Tomlinson and the One Direction is going to be playing here instead of BTR. FUCK yeah..." Bucky cheered. "Good to see you're getting over Steve..." Sam patted his shoulder. Unbeknownst to them Steve heard the whole thing.

A plane flew overhead landing on the helicopter pad. Somehow time sped up and One Direction was here. There is no concept of time. Time is an illusion. A mortal enemy.

Anyways, Bucky ran to Louis Tomlinson and they met in a passionate kiss. "Gay rights" Zayn said, because Zayn never left shut the frick up haters. Steve's heart broke. 

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SATIRE!!! IM A GAY MAN, FOLLOW ME ON TWIT @BWUCKY


End file.
